God Save the Queen

Imagine an elderly British lady with iron gray hair, thin lips, and a tightly buttoned collar. Her voice is high, pinched, and very British.  

Imagine how she'd speak, if she were to say something regal, proper, and exceptionally sophisticated, like "God save the Queen." Or, for our purposes here, "Punting on the Cam." 

Punting is a purely English boating tradition, steeped with history, in which one stands on a low boat with an enormous rod, and pushes it against the river bottom to move forward. The sport is extremely popular in Oxford and Cambridge, as are rowing and other water sports.

We decided to go as a group on one beautiful, sunny afternoon last week, and I was more than excited to indulge in some proper river-ish culture. I donned my most festive attire: Chacos, sorority t-shirt, jean shorts (read: american) with my swimsuit and sunglasses, and off we went. 

It became clear, however, that things weren't quite as easy as they seemed.  The boat is extremely difficult to navigate--you could shoot off to the left or the right of the river with a slight turn of the rod.  It took at least ten minutes for our group to leave the dock, but no matter. We were exhilarated with the sunshine and fresh air. 

However, when it came my turn to have a go at the punt, I wasted no time. I punted away, and decently managed to move our boat upstream.  One can't help but want to sing while punting, so I began to hum bits of Pocahontas' "Just Around the Riverbend" and the great philosophical ballad, "I'm On a Boat." Jolly, lovely, all that. 

But the Cam is a rather narrow river, and there were tourists everywhere--so when one got in my way, cut me off, or blocked the river by paralleling the shore, to my surprise, something inside me snapped. 

OH NO YOU DIDN'T.

I had no idea, but I have a healthy case of river rage. 

Crazy tourists, blocking our boat. I don't really have road rage when I drive cars, but on the river? 
No sir. Get out the way. 

I don't see America putting in a river transportation system anytime soon, so for now, the beast will remain caged. 

We had a lovely time, and I couldn't help but think of all the lovely symbolism of being on a river, adventure, "Around the Riverbend" . . . my blog, boat, river . . . yeah.  I'm not a nerd or anything. 

God save the Queen, and 

Cheerio.